Messed Up
by LottiePoynterr
Summary: Dougie and Harry have been together for just over 8 months before an unwelcome visitor comes and messes everything up... Lots of swearing, quite a lot of violence and some self harm :( Could be triggering for some people and it gets a bit depressing... Rated M just to be safe... I hope you like it :/ :)
1. Chapter 1

**This is for LeilaTheGalaxyDefender... one of my favourite reviewers and so I asked her for ideas for stories and this happened! Thank you for everybody's reviews on everything... It's appreciated! Hope you like this :)**

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**Harry's (diary) POV:**

_Me and Dougie have been going out for just over 8 months now and I couldn't be happier. I love him so much! We've known each other for 3 years and I have loved Dougie ever since I first set eyes on him. I only built up the courage to tell him how I felt 8 months ago and I was shocked (as well as relieved) to find out that he felt the same. We kept our relationship a secret from Tom and Danny for a couple of months before telling them because they didn't know that Dougie was gay and so he was scared to admit it to them. The night that we told them was the night that we finally had the nerve to sleep together for the first time. Dougie was still a virgin and I had never slept with a man before- so it was new for both of us. Dougie, despite his first-time nerves, ended up loving it and it was that moment that showed me that he truly did love me. On valentines day, five weeks ago, we went out for a huge romantic meal on the beach and the only light surrounding us was given by candles. It was truly the best night of my life. Anyway, enough of our life story, Dougie's coming. _

**Dougie's POV:**

I walked into the kitchen to find Harry writing in his diary again. He was always doing it. I don't know why, but somehow, it made him even more loveable. We'd been going out for 8 months, 1 week and 4 days... I'm good with dates, what can I say? I loved Harry more than anybody else in the whole world. I was about to walk over and hug him when I heard a knock on the door. I told Harry that I'd get it before walking through the hall to see who it was. The second that I opened the door, I wished that I hadn't. Standing there in front of me was my dad. He had left just before I got into the band after years of abusing me. I still had nightmares about him a lot and sometimes they were so bad that not even Harry could calm me down. I wanted to slam the door in his face but he'd seen me now. He knew where I was which meant he could get me and beat me up again.

'What do you want?' I asked, hoping not to show the fear in my voice.

'I just thought I'd pay you a little visit. I've been missing the look in your eyes when I beat you up. That sound you make when you cry like the pathetic son you are.' he hissed.

'WHO IS IT DOUGIE?' Harry shouted from the kitchen.

'Who is that?' my dad asked.

'My b-boyfriend, Harry.'

'I'm sorry. Did you just say _boyfriend_?' I nodded in reply. He dragged me out of the house by my collar and slammed the door behind him. He pushed me out into the street before throwing me on the floor and kicking me in the stomach. He continued to kick me repeatedly for several minutes. He hit me in the face over and over again and smashed my head against the floor as well before pulling me up, 'This is for being a piece of gay _scum_!' he shouted as he wrapped his huge fist around my hand. He slowly began to crush it until blood was running down my arm. After that, he just left. He didn't say another word, he just walked off. I lay on the pavement crying and trying to figure out why he Harry hadn't come out after me. I had just walked out of our house without saying a word to him all morning and he didn't find that even a tiny bit suspicious. The uncaring bastard! I stood up and walked slowly back towards our house. When I got inside, I walked upstairs and locked my bedroom door before barricading it with my drawers, my wardrobe and my bed. Harry was banging on it, begging for me to let him in, 'Please Dougs! Who was there? Why did you just leave? Why have you locked yourself in there and why are you crying? Let me in Dougs please!'

'N-NO! Y-YOU DON'T R-REALLY C-CARE AT ALL! Y-YOU D-DIDN'T EVEN C-COME OUT A-AFTER ME Y-YOU U-UNCAR-RING T-TWAT! J-JUST F-FUCK OFF AND D-DIE ALR-READY!' I shouted back angrily, still with tears streaming down my face. I heard the sound of Harry walking down the stairs and I the began to let out huge sobs, not caring if he could hear them downstairs or not. He didn't care anyway.

**Harry's POV:**

I heard Dougie leave and couldn't figure out what was going on. I figured that he just went out for a smoke or a chat or something and so I just stayed in the kitchen and made him some toast for when he came back. Around 15 minutes later, he came back in. He didn't say a word to me, instead he just walked up to his room. I could hear him crying as he went up the stairs and so I went to go and see what was wrong. By the time I got to his bedroom, he had locked himself in and I could hear him putting furniture against the door to stop me getting in. 'Please Dougs! Who was there? Why did you just leave? Why have you locked yourself in there and why are you crying? Let me in Dougs please!' I shouted, desperate to know why he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Was it something that I had done? Had I upset him in some way?

'N-NO! Y-YOU DON'T R-REALLY C-CARE AT ALL! Y-YOU D-DIDN'T EVEN C-COME OUT A-AFTER ME Y-YOU U-UNCAR-RING T-TWAT! J-JUST F-FUCK OFF AND D-DIE ALR-READY!' he screamed back at me. I felt his words slice straight through my heart. I had never felt a worse feeling than that. I turned and began to walk down the stairs. As I got into the lounge, I let my tears fall freely down my face. I could hear Dougie crying out in hurt, anger, pain and confusion from his bedroom and I couldn't help but feel that it was all my fault. Why hadn't I cared more about him when he'd mysteriously disappeared? He'd just told me to die and for some reason, I knew why he wanted me to. I had betrayed him. I knew what he'd been through in his life and yet I'd betrayed him. He'd never forgive me. Why did I let everything get so messed up?

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**Yeah so.. I hope you liked it. Chapter 2 should be up some time this week (even though I haven't actually written it yet) and.. erm.. yeah.. please review? Thanks 3 **


	2. Chapter 2

**This is where the depressing and gory stuff starts happening! It could be triggering for some people and so I warn you... if you're not a fan of self harm/attempted suicide... LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK! But I'd love you to stay and review too ;) Here we go...**

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**Dougie's POV:**

I ended up not leaving my room all day. I didn't even get up to eat! I had a bathroom in my bedroom and so I was able to just stay in my room. I was starving by the time I went to sleep but I didn't care. I was taken over by guilt. I had just told Harry, my boyfriend of 8 months, to go and die. I didn't mean it, I honestly didn't, I was just annoyed and I blamed the first person I saw after my dad attacked me, which was Harry. I'd heard him go downstairs and start crying his heart out. He was in pieces. I couldn't believe that I had caused this. I couldn't believe that I had told him to die. TO DIE! Why did I do that? What if he thought I was being serious? He wouldn't do anything stupid. Would he?

**Harry's POV:**

Eventually, I realised what I had to do to make things better for Dougie. I had to do what he asked of me. I had to leave him. I loved him more than anybody else in the world and if I didn't do anything to make him feel better, I wouldn't be a good boyfriend. I marched upstairs and into the bathroom, still with tears pouring from my eyes. I pulled a packet of razors from the cupboard and began to take the blade from one of them. As I was doing this, I heard the sound of furniture moving. Dougie was coming out! He wouldn't want to see me any more! I had to hurry up! I quickly pulled the blade away from the plastic and held it in my hand before lowering it to near my wrist. I was about to touch the skin when I heard a small knocking on the door.

'H-Harry? W-what are you d-doing?' Dougie's small voice asked.

'I'm doing what you told me to. I'm being a good boyfriend and doing what you want.'

'H-Harry. D-don't do s-something s-stupid. I d-didn't m-mean what I said. I d-don't want you to d-die! I-I need y-you!' he cried.

'You need me to die. That's what you need me to do. Goodbye Dougs. I love you.'

'HARRY! HARRY NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OPEN THE DOOR AND WE CAN TALK! P-PLEASE!' I ignored him and tightened my grip on the blade again. I slowly lowered it down to my wrist again and this time, I dug it into my skin and ran it up my arm. I cried out in pain the first time but after a second, it felt okay. I dug it into another part of my wrist and ran it along again. It was painful but I knew that what I was doing was the right thing to do. It was what my Dougie wanted and I had to make sure that he was happy. That was all that mattered. I felt my head start to get heavy and after a few more runs of the blade, everything went black and I hit the floor.

**Dougie's POV:**

****I de-barricaded the door when I heard Harry run up the stairs and lock himself in the bathroom. As I was unlocking the door, I heard a clumsy sort of clattering coming from where Harry was. I ran up to the bathroom door, 'H-Harry? W-what are you d-doing?'.

'I'm doing what you told me to. I'm being a good boyfriend and doing what you want.' Oh shit. I desperately hoped that he wasn't thinking of killing himself, 'H-Harry. D-don't do s-something s-stupid. I d-didn't m-mean what I said. I d-don't want you to d-die! I-I need y-you!'

'You need me to die. That's what you need me to do. Goodbye Dougs. I love you.' No. He couldn't.. He wouldn't?!

'HARRY! HARRY NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OPEN THE DOOR AND WE CAN TALK! P-PLEASE!' he ignored me completely. It was silent for a few more seconds before I heard Harry cry out in pain. What was he doing to himself? I couldn't risk anything and so I ran downstairs and grabbed the phone. I called Tom in a hurry, 'Hey!' he said as he picked up the phone

'T-Tom y-you and D-Danny have t-to g-get over here n-now! I-I said s-something s-stupid and n-now he's h-hurting himself.' I cried down the phone.

'Dougie, slow down. What's happened? What's Harry doing?' he asked worriedly.

'I-I said s-something m-mean a-and h-he's t-t-try-ying t-to k-kill h-hims-self. H-he's l-locked in the b-b-bathroom a-and I t-think he-he's c-c-ccc-c-utt-t-' I was cut off, 'It's okay Dougie. We'll be straight round! Don't let Harry do something stupid!' Tom shouted as he hung up. I ran back upstairs and sat outside the door crying. I cried harder when I heard a small whimper and then a sickening thud. What had I done? Tom and Danny came running in just moments after I heard the bang. 'T-TOM! D-D-DANNY! P-PLEASE H-HE-LP!' I screamed and they came sprinting up the stairs. Danny bent down and wrapped me in his arms while Tom set about opening the door. He rammed his side into it a couple of times before it flew open. I stood up and pushed past Tom but when I got in the room I stopped. Harry was passed out on the floor in a pool of his own blood, he had scratches up both of his arms and a blade was balanced in between two of his limp fingers. I couldn't move. Tom ran in and began checking if Harry had a pulse as Danny ran in and stood beside me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I was so weak with shock that my legs couldn't take the weight of any more. They went from underneath me and I started to fall. Luckily, Danny caught me and pulled me to his chest. I was in floods of tears and my legs just didn't want to work. Danny gently lowered me onto the floor and sat hugging me. Tom called an ambulance and after a few minutes, it arrived. The paramedics instantly put Harry on a stretcher and carried him out. I still couldn't move and so Tom went in the ambulance. As I sat there with Danny, I couldn't believe what I had caused. All I cared about was Harry and I had upset him so much that he'd tried to kill himself. I was a horrible person. Me and Danny set off for the hospital around 10 minutes after the ambulance had left and got there within 5 minutes, having broken every speed limit that existed. When we got there, I sat on a chair in the waiting room, crying and whimpering to myself. I hadn't meant what I'd said. I felt so guilty. I was just praying that Harry would be okay, I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't.

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**Yeah**.. **so that was quite depressing... sorry ;) I hope you liked the drama though... Review? Pleeaaasseeeee! :P Thanks for reading :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for your beautiful reviews! I never write anything in advance and so I have no clue where this story is going and I'm open to ideas. If anybody has any... I'd love to know! Like do you want a nice happy ending or one that's a bit sad but not too bad or one where someone dies or something? That would be depressing... drama is always good though! And do you want some Flones action as a bit of a background story or... Just anything! Give me any suggestions.. I literally don't have any ideas and I'm making this story up on the spot! Thanks again and I hope you enjoy it! :)**

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**Danny's POV:**

When we found Dougie he was in pieces. He was curled up outside the bathroom, crying his little eyes out. He had cuts and bruises all over him and he was muttering things about how much he loved Harry into my ear when I wrapped my arms around him in an attempt to calm him down. Tom managed to get the door open and Dougie sprinted in. When we followed, Tom raced to check that Harry was still breathing whilst I went about making sure that Dougs was okay. He was always the most emotional one in the band and whenever something bad happened to one of us, it always hit him the hardest. I knew that this would just break him. I walked up slowly behind him and when I put my hand on his shoulder, his legs went from under him. I managed to catch him before he hit the ground and then I slowly and carefully lowered him to the floor after he collapsed, in tears, in my arms. I sat on the floor with him while the ambulance came, and then left, with Tom inside. I knew that Dougie wanted to go but he simply didn't have the strength. After around 10 minutes of us staying like that on the floor, I dragged Dougie to his feet and began to march him out the house. I got him into the car and started to drive to the hospital. He still hadn't stopped crying when we got there but luckily his legs had regained strength and he could walk in on his own. We rushed into reception and were told to wait with Tom. He was sat on a plastic chair in a small waiting room when we went to sit with him. Dougie sat on his own on a chair in the far corner of the room and curled up in a ball. Me and Tom could hear him muttering something. He was chanting,'I didn't mean it' over and over again. After about 45 minutes, we couldn't take it any more, we had to know what had happened to make Harry do this. We stood up and walked over to Dougie, I knelt on the floor in front of him and Tom sat on the chair beside him.

'Dougie? What happened between you and Harry?' Tom asked quietly.

'I-I d-didn't m-mean to say it-t. I p-promis-se I d-didn't.' he replied through tears.

'What did you say Dougie? Just tell us what happened, we won't be mad.'

'W-w-well m-my d-dad came r-round a-and h-he beat m-me up b-but Harry d-didn't k-know who it w-was s-so h-he didn't c-come after me a-and I w-was up-pset when m-my dad eve-eventual-lly s-stopped a-and so I g-got in m-my head t-that H-Harry d-didn't c-care ab-bout me and s-so I s-shouted at h-him a-and I t-told h-him to g-g-go a-and d-d-d-die. I d-didn't m-mean it! I p-promise! I s-swear I d-didn't mean it!' his voice broke on the last word and he broke into yet more floods of tears. I now understood why he was covered in cuts and why he was muttering that 'he hadn't meant it'.

'Oh Dougie.. It's okay. We know that you didn't mean it and that seeing you're dad after all this time just made you upset and he shouldn't have beat you up. People do silly things when they're really upset Dougie. That's all that happened. It's okay, it's not your fault, we still love you and so does Harry.' I said in the most comforting way possible. I could tell that he hadn't meant what he'd said to Harry in even the smallest way. He was just annoyed, and in my eyes, this was all his dad's fault. Dougie's dad always messed up the best moments of his son's life. Like when Dougie had first got into the band and he was so happy. He told us over and over that he had never been happier in his life and we could tell that he was being serious. Dougie was on a high and his dad chose that moment to spoil everything. Dougie came in crying one day and refused to come out of his bedroom, we asked him what was wrong and eventually (3 days later) he admitted that his dad had been abusing him for just over 2 years and that now he had just left. He left without warning and all he left behind was a note that read 'You'll never see me again. I never loved you'. Dougie had nightmares about that for just over 2 and a half years and there were many times where he would come into one of either mine, Tom or Harry's rooms at around 3 in the morning, crying his eyes out saying that his dad was coming to get him again. Eventually, we had helped him get over what happened with his dad and then he got into his relationship with Harry. They were so perfect together and now, because of his dad, the happiness had just been ripped away from Dougie's life again. Me and Tom sat comforting and cuddling Dougie for hours as we waited for results on how Harry was. All we wished for was that he would make it through this and that he and Dougie would be able to talk about what happened and be back to how they were, just yesterday. It had to happen! Dougie couldn't live without Harry.

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**So that was Danny's view of Dougie's dad and Pudd's relationship. I thought that I'd make him care about Dougie because.. well... I don't know actually- it's just sort of cute and having the McFly boys hate each other at this point of the story would just be ****_too_**** sad. I hope you liked it- it was really short and more of a filler while I think of more ideas to be honest. Please review and any idea's you have... I'd love to hear them! Thanks ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dougie's POV:**

****I waited up for hours to hear about Harry. I had to tell him that I was sorry and that I could be a better boyfriend and band mate. I would improve my bass playing and stop singing in the band, I didn't want to drag them down and make them sound bad. I would also lose weight. The rest of the boys all had nice body's and kept track of there weight. I, however, did not and I was making the band look bad. I was an unhealthy little shit and I needed to sort out my act before the press saw my body and bad a field day. Lastly, I had to be a better boyfriend to Harry. I had been horrible so far and I had to prove to him that I could change and be nicer. When the nurse finally walked in, I leapt out of my chair and on to my feet,'How is he? Is Harry okay? Is he alive? Please tell me he's okay he can't be dead he just can't be!'

'Calm down, Mr Judd is fine. He lost a lot of blood and so we're keeping him in overnight but is there are no further problems, he can go home tomorrow. I think that he is awake now if you'd like to see him?' The nurse replied happily.

'Yes please!' I grinned. We followed the nurse through long hospital corridors before stopping outside a small wooden door. I couldn't help but smile a little, Harry's room was on the third floor of the hospital.

'Now Harry is still very weak and won't be able to talk much, let alone move. So just be gentle. I'll see you boys later.' The nurse said calmly before walking off. I slowly opened the door and walked towards Harry. He looked a bit confused but quite happy at the same time. I quickly put my arms around him,'I'm so so sorry Harry. I promise you that I didn't mean a word that I said! I was being a stupid, ignorant little idiot and I upset you and I'm truly sorry! I can be better I swear I can! I can improve my bass playing and I can stop singing and that way I won't let the band down. And I can lose weight and then none of you will have to be ashamed when you're around me like you are now. And I can be a better boyfriend! I will do whatever you ask me to and I will never argue or talk back at you and I will always do all of the cooking and the cleaning and all the work and all you have to do is stay with me. I know that it takes a lot of energy putting up with me and I know that I'm a moody annoying little shit most of the time but please.. I'm begging you, please don't leave me Harry!' I blurted out desperately. I looked up and saw the shock on Harry, Tom and Danny's faces.

'Dougie? What are you talking about?' Harry asked confused.

'I can be better! I really can! I promise!' I said. I was crying again now, I was terrified that Harry was going to leave me.

'Dougie, I don't want you to change at all! I only did this to try and make you happy. I realise now that I was stupid and I overreacted. I love you just the way you are! Please don't change, ever!' Harry replied with tears now brewing in his own eyes.

'Yeah Dougie, we all love you and we would never want you to change!' Tom added before Danny finished with 'And we certainly do not think that there is a single thing wrong with your bass playing, singing or weight! Do you understand?' I nodded, with tears still rolling down my face.

'Come here Dougs!' Harry said whilst pulling me into a hug, his voice still weak. He lay down, dragging me with him, and pulled the cover over both of us. We lay, face to face, staring into each others blue eyes. They were the only part of me that I liked. Despite what Harry said, I still knew that I had to change the rest...


	5. Chapter 5

**Dougie's POV:**

Three months had passed since the hospital with Harry. He was fine and so were Tom and Danny. I thought that sticking to my plan of cleaning up my act was going to be hard because the guys would be keeping a close eye on me however, to my surprise, they didn't. They just kept everything as it was before the drama with Harry. Lucky me! I had just about stopped eating. I would only eat something when Tom, Danny or Harry forced me and even when I did eat something, the next time I was in the toilet with nobody around, I would throw it up again. I had been looking in the mirror everyday and I still didn't look like the other guys. I wasn't slim.. If anything, I was getting fatter day by day. I did long runs around our behold neighbourhood without stopping and when I was in my bedroom alone, I would do rounds of sit ups until I threw up or passed out. I should have felt unwell and tired but for some reason, I didn't! I felt better than I had felt in years. I was finally going to mean something to somebody. We had just eaten dinner and I ran upstairs. I went into my bedroom and started doing push ups and sit ups. I did them endlessly and eventually, I felt that funny feeling in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom with my hand clasped over my mouth and when I got there I collapsed in front of the toilet. I heard somebody coming upstairs as I retched. I didn't pay attention until I suddenly remembered something... I hadn't locked the door!

**Danny's POV:**

Thankfully we had all gotten over the drama with Harry and Dougie and we were all back to normal. Dougie still wasn't quite as sociable as he used to be but we all just assumed that he was scared of saying something that would make one of us do something stupid again. We had just eaten dinner and now me and Tom were in the lounge, Harry was in the music room and Dougie was in his bedroom. I put the television on mute to ask Tom something but I stopped talking when I heard what sounded like somebody being sick,'Hey Tom?' I asked.

'Yeah?' He replied, turning to me.

'Can you hear somebody throwing up?' I asked. He listened carefully before nodding. We both stood up and went to see where the noise was coming from. We walked slowly up the stairs and towards the bathroom. The retching sound didn't stop. We entered cautiously but ran towards Dougie when we saw him. He was leant over the toilet bowl, throwing up and crying. I rubbed his back as Tom got him a small glass of water. We waited until he had stopped being sick and then passed it to him. He took tentative sips and leant his head against the wall.

**'**Are you okay Dougs?' Tom asked worriedly. Dougie nodded weakly,'I think I have some sort of bug or food poisoning or something.' He said quietly.

'Well do you feel like you're going to be sick again?' I asked. He shook his head. I helped him stand up and took him into his bedroom. I lay I him in his bed as Tom went to get Harry and a bucket, just in case. Harry came running through the door and sat beside Dougie on the bed. He tucked him in under the quilt and took hold of his small hand,'Are you okay Dougs? Do you want me to stay up here with you and make sure that you're fine? I don't mind, honestly, I just want to make sure that you're fine.' He asked whilst stroking Dougie's hair softly. They really were the cutest couple I'd ever seen. They were perfect for each other.

'Yes please. I'd like you to stay please Harry. Thank you.' Dougie whispered. Tom walked back in and put a bucket on the floor beside Dougie's bed. 'We'll see you two later. Hope you feel better soon Dougs. Goodnight.' I smiled before shutting the door and leaving Dougie and Harry to get some sleep.

**Dougie's POV: **

I fell asleep quite quickly once Danny had left. I was just relieved that my excuse had worked and that none of the guys suspected a thing. I could carry on being better!


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! So I need to explain about the last two chapters... I wrote them on my phone but the auto correct completely lost it's mind and ended up making more errors than it solved. Like seriously.. one time it changed POV to bikini? I almost wrote '****_Dougie's Bikini:_****'. Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I love reading them and replying! I hope you like the rest... could get a little dark though...**

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**Dougie's POV:**

I woke up at around 3 in the morning. I looked around and jumped slightly when I saw Harry sitting, asleep, on a chair in the corner of the room. He must have stayed up here to look after me after Danny and Tom found me throwing up. I couldn't believe I had let that happen! I felt sick with nerves.. what if they suspected something? What if I couldn't keep trying to be perfect? It was then that I had a sudden brainstorm. Harry was asleep and he knew that I had been sick earlier, if I made myself sick now.. it wouldn't matter. He would just assume that it was the apparent stomach bug I had. I picked up the bucket from the side of my bed. Would it be big enough? I usually threw up a lot when I made myself sick and I didn't know if the bucket would hold everything that my stomach had to give. I didn't care, I sat the bucket on my knee and shoved my fingers down my throat. Within a second, I was emptying the remainder of our dinner into the bucket, it was filling up quickly. Oh shit. It was full within just a couple of minutes, I had no other choice except to just be sick all over the bed and the floor. I suddenly heard a small clatter from the corner before Harry ran over. I continued to retch over my bed sheets as he attempted to calm me down by rubbing his hand up and down my back. I stopped being sick after a couple more minutes,'Are you okay Dougs? Are you sure you don't need a doctor? You've been sick a lot!' Harry said worriedly.

'I'm sure. It'll pass. I bet it's just Tom's dodgy cooking.' I replied weakly.

'Okay. Well do you want to go and sleep in my room for the rest of the night and I'll clean this up?'

'Yes please'. Harry picked me up and carried me to his bedroom,'Try and get some more sleep Dougs.' he said softly. I nodded as he left the room and slowly fell back to sleep, happy with the fact that my stomach was now completely empty again.

**Harry's POV:**

****I was woken up at around three in the morning by the sound of Dougie being sick again, I ran over to see Dougie being sick all over his bed. The small bucket that Tom had given him was full and now he was just being sick everywhere, not caring about his bed sheets or floor. I ran over and started to rub circles. When he had stopped being sick, I asked if he wanted a doctor but he insisted that he would be fine. I picked him up and carried him into my room to sleep. I lay him on my bed and tucked him up before leaving to go and clean his bedroom. I walked in and opened the window to attempt to get rid of the vile smell that now filled the room. I strode over to his bed, avoiding the vomit puddle on the floor, and tugged his sheets of the bed. I shook them around outside for a while to get rid of the excess puke before putting them in the washing machine to get clean. When they were in, I went and got a mop and a bucket before heading upstairs again and cleaning the sick from Dougie's floor. When I had finished, it was almost 4 and I was exhausted. I walked downstairs again and went to sleep on the sofa, deciding to leave my boyfriend in peace. I hoped that he would get better soon, I loved him more than anybody and hated seeing him in pain.

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**This was unacceptably short! I'm sorry! But if you think of the positives... the shorter each chapter is.. the more chapters there wil be :D That is my excuse for doing rubbishy chapters ;) Thanks for reading this far if you're still with me.. I appreciate it. I really do! Thank you! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey! I don't actually have that much to say about this part except that I hope you enjoy it so.. erm.. yeah.. I hope you enjoy it ;)**

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**Danny's POV:**

I woke up and slowly remembered the events of the night before. Dougie seemed really ill. I decided to got and check on him to make sure that he was okay. I walked out of my bedroom, through the corridor and into his, I was shocked to see that the room was completely empty. I turned around and walked to the bathroom,'Dougie? Are you in there?' I asked quietly. I entered into the bathroom however, like Dougie's bedroom, it was empty. The last place I decided to look was Harry's room, Dougie often went to sleep next to Harry if he felt ill or if he'd had a nightmare. We all tried to convince the couple to just share a bedroom however Dougie was still a little nervy about coming out as gay and didn't want to 'rush into things' as he called it. I knocked quietly on the door of Harry's bedroom and walked in, Dougie was curled up in a ball, asleep, taking up a tiny amount of room in Harry's bed. It was sweet seeing him like that, so at peace, however after a second, I realised something. Harry wasn't anywhere in the room. I left the bedroom, my head full of confusion, and made my way downstairs. I jumped slightly when I saw a body laying on the sofa asleep. I calmed down when I realised who it was, it was Harry. I gently shook his shoulder,'Harry? Wake up mate. Why are you sleeping down here and not upstairs with Dougs?'

'I woke up at like 3 this morning and Dougie was throwing up everywhere. That bucket Tom gave him was completely overflowed and he was just being sick all over his bed and floor. When he finished, I carried him into my bedroom and told him to try and get more sleep and then I cleaned up his bedroom and washed his bed sheets but then it was like 4 and I didn't want to disturb his sleeping so I just slept down here.' Harry replied sleepily.

'Oh.. Well is he okay? Why was he being sick so much?'

'I think so.. He seemed better once he'd got everything out of him and I don't think he's been sick since. So that's good. And I don't know? I've never seen anybody be sick that much just because of a stomach bug.'

'Me neither. But if he's better now I suppose that's what matters. When do you think he'll wake up?'

'In a couple of hours I'd presume. He has looked really tired and drained lately though hasn't he?'

'Yeah. That's what I was thinking.. I didn't know if you'd noticed so I decided not to say anything. I'm worried about him Haz. What if he's like really ill?'

'I'm worried too. I hope he isn't really ill. We'll just see what Tom thinks when he wakes up.' Harry said sadly.

'He'll be okay Haz. I promise. We're probably worrying about nothing.' I said sympathetically. Harry nodded in response and started flicking through the television channels. It was quite early and not much was on so we ended up just sitting watching 'How Clean is Your House?'. After a pretty revolting 30 minutes of that show, Tom came down the stairs,'Morning guys. You're up early!'

'Yeah. I woke up Harry because he was hogging the sofa.' I replied with a small smile.

'Why were you on the sofa?' Tom asked Harry with a puzzled look on his face.

'I woke up at like 3 and Dougie was being sick and stuff so I put him to bed in my room and I cleaned up his bedroom and then I didn't want to disturb him so I came and slept down here.' Harry replied.

'Oh. Was he okay?'

'Well, he was a bit upset. I think I heard him crying a little before I went and sat next to him but I suppose that's normal when you're throwing up what must be at least half your body weight. It must have been quite painful.'

'Poor Dougs. I hope he gets better soon. I thought he's been looking ill for around a week now. Like, he's been really tired and quiet and he's not been eating a lot either.' Tom said, sighing slightly.

'That's exactly what me and Haz were just talking about! Do you think we should try googling his symptoms or something? In case something is really wrong?' I asked quickly in response. Tom and Harry nodded and so we pulled the laptop out from under the sofa and began typing a list of Dougie's symptoms into the search engine. We scrolled through the results and couldn't bare to look much further than page 3. Every result pointed towards one thing. Dougie had an eating disorder.


	8. Chapter 8

**Tom's POV:**

'No. No. It's lying. Nope. There is nothing like that wrong with my Dougie. He has just got a stomach bug. Please just turn it off and ignore it.' Harry cried to Danny. Danny half shut the laptop and placed it on the floor.

'Come here Haz.' he said quietly whilst walking towards Harry and pulling him into a hug,'It'll be okay. We'll help Dougie through this. But first we have to accept that this is happening or Dougie definitely won't.' he whispered to a sobbing Harry.

'But Danny. I don't want to see him destroying himself. It hurts Dan.. It really really hurts.' Harry mumbled into Danny's shoulder.

'I know it hurts Harry but we have to help him so he stops. Do you understand? It will help him and then all of this mess will be over.' Danny replied, stroking Harry's back soothingly. Harry nodded and the two pulled me into their hug. We stayed like that for a few minutes, just hugging, before Danny spoke up.

'We need to find a way to tell him that we know without scaring him. And we can't just force him to eat all of a sudden, we need to take it slowly. And he's obviously been making himself sick up whatever food we have given him so we need to stay close to him at all times to make sure that he isn't doing it.' he said calmly. Me and Harry just nodded.

'So should we start with breakfast when he wakes up?' I asked quietly. Danny nodded back and we all sat on the sofa, just thinking about how to approach Dougie with the subject.

**Dougie's POV:**

****I woke up in Harry's bed. I wondered why for a couple of seconds before I remembered what had happened last night. I could hear the television on downstairs and so I decided to go and see what the others were doing. I put on my best ill face and walked down the stairs slowly, rubbing my eyes. When I stepped into the room, everybody turned and stared at me.

'Morning.' I said rather dully.

'Morning Dougs. Are you feeling any better this morning?' Danny asked with a sympathetic look on his face.

'Yeah. Way better.' I replied. I saw the faces of all three of my band mates drop slightly as I said that. Tom looked up at me with almost pleading eyes, Danny did that small sympathetic smile again and Harry.. well Harry just wasn't looking at me. He had his hands resting in his lap and he was staring down at them unmoving. Something was going on that they weren't telling me and I wanted answers.

'Guys? What's happened. Why are you all acting like my mums dead or something? Oh god.. she's not dead is she? Oh fuck. Is Jazzie dead? Oh god, it's true isn't it? It's all my fault! Fuck! Why did I leave them? I left them and now they're both dead! Fuck! Why am I such a little shit!' I screamed. I went to hit the wall but I was stopped by a sorry looking faced Danny.

'Calm down Dougs. Your mum and Jazzie are fine. Just calm down.' he soothed, pulling me into a hug and rubbing my back.

'Well what is it then? Why are you all being all sorry for me?' Danny sat me down on the sofa next to Harry. I was shaking with nerves about what the news would be. I guess that Harry saw my trembling hands because he took them in his own and stroked them gently with his thumbs.

'Dougie? We don't want you to be scared, we just want to help you.' Danny said. What the fuck was going on?,' We know what you've been doing. We know that you have an eating disorder and we're going to help you stop'. Oh fuck. My heart stopped. How did they know? I had to convince them otherwise,'What are you talking about? I don't have an eating disorder? I ate a meal just last night, you all saw me.'

'Yeah.. and then you threw it all back up again and pretended to be ill.' I shook my head.

'No. I just had a stomach bug or food poisoning.'

'Dougie, we know that that is a lie. There is no point hiding it any more. We just want to help you.' Tom said quietly.

'But there is nothing wrong with me!' I shouted. I had seen the rage building in Danny's face for a couple of minutes and that comment had completely blown him.

'Come on then. Prove it!' he said, dragging me into the kitchen. He practically threw me down onto a chair and went to open the fridge. I looked up to Tom and Harry for help.

'Danny mate. Give Dougs a break. He's just scared. You're scaring him.' Harry said quietly.

'Well if he admits that he has a problem then I won't make him eat it all.' Danny said back whilst cooking up sausages, bacon and toast. I shook my head,'There is nothing wrong with me!' I said. Danny finished cooking the food and dumped it on a plate. I looked down at it feeling ill. I picked up the knife and fork and began eating the food. I finished it all and looked up at Danny.

'There you go. I ate it. Now that you know I don't have a problem, let me go upstairs.' I said full of cockyness. On the inside, I just wanted to get away and make myself sick to get rid of the dirt inside of me.

'No. That was only half the deal. Now you have to stay down here. We are not going to let you go and just throw it all up again. We know your secret and we know that is exactly what you've been doing.' Danny replied calmly. I knew that I wasn't going to get out of it. My body filled with fear and I looked up at all three of my band mates. Tom looked at me with apologetic eyes, as well as Harry. My boyfriend helped me to walk into the lounge and sat next to me on the sofa. After 20 minutes, I couldn't bare it. I could feel the food just swirling round and round in my stomach. I stood up and went to leave the room.

'Where are you going Dougie?' Harry asked quietly.

'I.. erm.. I'm just going to the toilet.' I replied, hoping that my shaky voice didn't give me away. To my dismay, it did.

'No Dougie. I know what you want to do and I'm not going to let you.' Harry said in response, standing up and grabbing my arm. I spun around with tears in my eyes.

'Please Harry. I need to get rid of it. Please. It feels like I've been poisoned. I need to get it out.' I whimpered, starting to cry.

'Oh Dougie. I'm sorry. But we're just trying to make you better.' he replied sadly, hugging me. I cried into his chest for around 10 minutes before we sat on the sofa. I was on his knee with my arms around his neck and my head against his chest. I stayed like that for about half an hour. The feeling in my stomach got progressively worse throughout that time and eventually my stomach just couldn't take the weight. I leant over and threw up everywhere.

'Dougie?! Oh my gosh Dougie are you okay?!' Harry asked. I didn't reply, instead I just swung my arms back around Harry's neck and cried harder into his shirt. It was a weird sensation that filled my body. I had gotten rid of the vile food but yet for some reason, I still wasn't happy. I couldn't understand it. I ended up giving myself a terrible headache before slowly falling to sleep against the warmness of Harry's chest.


	9. Chapter 9

**Harry's POV:**

Dougie fell asleep against my chest a few minutes after he had been sick. I sat with him in my arms for another hour before deciding to take him upstairs to sleep. I had thought last night that he had felt light when I carried him through to my room but I had just ignored it. Why didn't I realise? I carried Dougie upstairs with ease. I lay him in my bed instead of his own and climbed in next to him. I lay his head on my chest and put my arms around him, tight enough to keep him safe but soft enough not to break him. I lay staring at him whilst he slept, he looked so perfect, so calm. I couldn't believe how much his disorder had affected him. How long had it been going on for? Obviously a while because it had got to the point where his body couldn't keep a few sausages and a piece of toast down for more than an hour. Had it been going on since that day in the hospital? Did he not believe us? Did he still think that he had to change? I couldn't figure it out. I stayed up thinking about it for ages before Dougie began to wake up.

'Hey Dougs. Are you feeling better?'

'Harry? My head hurts.' he whimpered, beginning to cry again.

'Hey, hey it's okay. I'll go and get you some painkillers. Don't cry baby, it's okay.' I soothed, kissing his hair softly before going to get him some tablets. I left my room as quietly as I could, not wanting to hurt his head, and went to the kitchen.

'Hey guys? Do we have any painkillers?' I asked Tom and Danny.

'Yeah. There is some in that cupboard. Why?' Danny replied, pointing up to a small cabinet on my right.

'Doug has just woken up and he's got a headache. I think it's a pretty bad one, he's talking quieter than a mouse and he's crying.'

'Poor Dougs. Tell him that we hope his head feels better soon and that we didn't mean to scare or upset him earlier. Please.' Danny replied quietly. I nodded and went back up to my bedroom.

'Here you go Dougie.' I practically whispered.

'Harry please stop shouting. My head is pounding.' Dougie replied sadly.

'I'm sorry Dougs. I can't speak much quieter. I'm practically whispering.' I said sympathetically. Dougie sighed and let more tears flow down his cheeks. I lay him down again and wrapped my arms around him once he had taken the painkillers. I sat up again before speaking so that I wasn't too close to his ears.

'Try and sleep some more Dougs. Your headache will be gone when you wake up and it will give you some strength. And Dougie, I don't want to scare you but when you wake up, you will have to eat dinner. So if I was you I would sleep now and calm yourself down before you have to challenge yourself and your stomach again. Okay?' He nodded sadly and rested his head on the pillow. I watched as he fell asleep before lying beside him, holding his hand and thinking about the challenges that were still to come for all of us.

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**Sooo... That was so short! I'm sorry! There is something about writing on a phone that makes it hard to write long paragraphs! It is unacceptable.. I know :( So yeah... Sorry about that! But I hope you liked it and I would just like to say a massive thank you to all of my reviewers.. Especially ****_xxPUDDxx_**** ... Reviews make my day! Seriously! They make me so happy, so thank you a lot! :) Hope you're enjoying it so far and if you have any suggestions for endings or twists.. Please tell me! Thank you x**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dougie's POV:**

I woke up in Harry's bedroom. I instantly remembered what had happened earlier. I looked to the side of me and saw Harry laying there asleep, his hand tightly locked in my own. I shook his shoulder lightly and he began to wake up.

'Hey Dougs. Is your head feeling better?' he asked sleepily.

'Yeah. It still hurts a little bit but not much.'

'Well that's good. Dougie... do you know what time it is?'

'No..'

'It's about 6'o'clock. We'll be having dinner soon.'

'Do I have to Harry?'

'I'm sorry Dougie but yes. It's for your own good. It will give you strength.'

'But Harry, I'm not hungry. And I'm a little tired but that's only because I've just woken up. You always feel tired when you first wake up.'

'I'm sorry. But it honestly will help you. Come on.' he said comfortingly, taking my hand and walking me down the stairs. We walked into the kitchen and Danny and Tom were there, cooking dinner.

'Hey Dougie. Are you feeling better?' Danny asked. I nodded and sat on a chair at the table. After a few minutes, Danny walked over with two plates of food, putting them down at two of the places at the table. Tom and Harry came and sat in front of them before Danny walked over again, with another 2 plates. He put one down in front of himself and put the other down in front of me. I looked down at it feeling sick. Compared to the other guy's plates, it was a minuscule amount of food but to me it was like a huge buffet. There were 2 sausages, a few peas and a lump of mashed potato on my plate. The other guys looked at me expectantly and Harry took my hand and rubbed it comfortingly.

'Go on Dougs. You can do it. Just take it slow, we're not going to leave you. We're going to support you.' he said. I nodded and picked up my fork. I began eating the potato, then the peas, and then the sausages. I finished around 20 minutes after the other guys despite me starting off with a lot less food than them all.

'Well done Dougs. We're proud of you you know. We know how hard that was for you but we're so glad you did it.' Danny said supportively. I smiled slightly at him, with a sick feeling in my stomach and stood up to go into the lounge. I sat on the sofa and after a second, the other guys came through and sat beside me.

'Make sure you tell us if you feel ill Dougs.' Harry said quietly and I nodded in reply. We sat watching television for a while and in my stomach and head, pain was growing. I tapped Harry gently on the arm when the pain in my stomach got too much to bare, I could tell I was going to be sick.

'What is it Dougs?' he asked concerned.

'I feel sick Harry. Like the same as earlier.' I mumbled.

'Come on then Dougs, come through here.' he said, taking my arm and taking me through to the bathroom. I leant over the toilet after a couple of minutes and vomited again, my stomach not being able to handle the food once again. And once again, I got the terrible headache that sent earthquakes going in my skull. Harry took me back through to the lounge when I had finished being sick and sat me on the sofa again, this time covering me in a blanket.

'Please could you turn the TV down a little guys? My head is really hurting.' I muttered.

'Of course Dougie. Do you want me to get you some painkillers?' Tom asked quietly whilst turning down the volume of the television. I nodded and he walked through to the kitchen, coming back minutes later with 2 tablets and a glass of water,'Here you go Dougie. They should make you feel better. It will probably just be lack of food that's making your head hurt.' he said, passing me the tablets and water. I took them and put the water down on the floor before curling up on Harry's lap and drifting off to sleep for the second time that day.

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** Thank you so so much for all of the lovely reviews so far! You're all so nice! And I'm a little stuck for ideas on how to carry it on and for endings so if you have any tips or spare ideas.. it would be much appreciated! ;) Thank you so much and next chapter should be up quite soon :P**


	11. Chapter 11

**Danny's POV:**

Harry untangled Dougie's body from his own after about 20 minutes of him being asleep. When he came back down, the three of us sat in the lounge in silence. After around another 10 minutes of the silence, it was too much to bare so I just blurted out the first thing that came into my head,'What do you think is up with Dougie's headaches?'

'I don't know... That's what I was thinking about.' Harry replied sadly.

'Me too...' Tom added.

'Well do you think it's just because he hasn't been eating enough?'

'I don't know. But he would have had them since he's not been eating if it was... and he only complained about it first earlier on. And the headaches are really bad so you think that he would have told us if they were there before.' Harry stated.

'Yeah.. I suppose. Maybe it's just stress of us finding out?'

'Hmm.. maybe..'

After that, we sat watching more television for a little while, enjoying the small feeling of relaxation we had. After about an hour, I put the television on mute as I heard retching sounds.

'SHIT! NOBODY'S WITH DOUGIE!' I shouted, suddenly realising our stupid mistake. Within a second, Harry was up out of his chair and flying up the stairs, with both me and Tom on his heels. We sprinted up, hoping for the best, however when we ran into Dougie's room, he wasn't there,'Shit!' Harry exclaimed, before pegging it to the bathroom. The door was locked shut and we could hear retching and gagging sounds coming from in the room.

'Dougie? Dougie stop! Why are you making yourself sick again? You were doing so well!' Harry said through the door.

'I-I had to g-get rid of it. I-I have t-to get better.' Dougie choked back through sobs before we heard him gagging and spluttering again.

'Dougie just open the door. You're perfect just the way you are!'

'N-n-no.'

'Dougie please.' Harry whimpered slightly. Dougie went on to keep retching over the toilet. After a little while, we heard him let out a whimper and then we heard bottles falling of the edge of the sink and a sickening thud.

'Dougie? Dougie what's happened.' Tom cried. There was no response. 'Dougie? DOUGIE PLEASE!'

'I think he's passed out. Can you get me a knife and I'll spin the lock to open.' I said calmly, secretly dreading what had happened. Tom sprinted down the stairs, running back up a second later with a small knife. I mumbled a sort of thanks and went on to open the lock. I did it within a couple of minutes and opened the door. I ran over to Dougie who was lay, looking awfully pale, on the floor. Harry knelt beside him and checked for a pulse, sighing with relief when he found one. I stood up and looked at Tom who looked sadly at me before pointing to the toilet. I stared into the porcelain bowl. It was lined with blood, obviously from Dougie making himself sick too much. I flushed it away before Harry saw, not wanting to upset him further, and leant over next to him,'Come on Haz. Let's get him a glass of water and put him in bed. He'll be fine, he's just tired himself out. He needs his rest, that's all'. Harry sniffed and nodded, I helped him up from the floor and he picked up Dougie from the floor in his arms. Harry ended up taking Dougs to sleep in his room. I walked upstairs and into Harry's room with a glass of water for Dougie and I couldn't help but smile slightly when I saw the pair. Dougie looked peaceful when he was sleeping and Harry had dozed off as well, he had Dougie's head resting against his chest and their hands were linked together tightly. I stared at them, silently wishing that we would wake up tomorrow and the whole mess would be over... little did I know, this was only the start of our problems...

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**So all of these chapters are really really short... sorry! :) Thank you so much for all of the awesome reviews! You are some of the best readers ever! I'm sorry if I don't reply to reviews very quickly.. I'm practising for my french exam and I have just started another multi-chap :) I'll keep on trying to update every day though! Thanks again :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**HEY! First off, just in case anybody cares, my French exam actually went pretty well. The whole third paragraph of it was about a dream I had where Harry and Izzy had a baby and Dougie stole it and threatened to feed it to Zukie unless Harry re-married him.. but I won't go into that ;) So yeah, thank you so so much for all of the reviews! Once again I'd like to say an extra big thank you to****_ xxPUDDxx_**** because honestly your support means so much and you're lovely! *massive hug and a kiss on the cheek* I hope you enjoy this chapter... It's not very good :/ Sorry for all of the really rubbish chapters I keep putting in :P Anyway, enough of my blabbering.. Enjoy! :)**

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**Dougie's POV:**

I woke up feeling dizzy and weak. I remembered what had happened in the bathroom and instantly started to panic! I was going to die! I was throwing up blood! I looked around and saw Harry lay next to me, I quickly shook him awake,'Harry! Harry! You've got to help! Please help me! I don't want to die! I don't! I didn't mean to! Just please don't let me die!' I shouted at his desperately.

'Shh, shh, it's okay, you're okay. Just calm down Dougs. I'm here and you're safe. You're not going to die.' he replied soothingly gathering me in his arms.

'I am Harry! I am! There was blood Harry! There was blood! Oh god what do I do Harry?!' I shouted again pulling away.

'Shh, Dougie. Calm down. What do you mean?' he said, attempting to calm me down, refusing to let me escape from the embrace.

'When I was being sick Harry! There was blood! I was throwing up blood! I'm going do die Harry! Oh god I'm going to die!'

'You're not going to die Dougie! You need to calm down! The blood was there because you haven't been eating and then you've been making yourself sick. It's not good for you Dougie. Me, Tom and Danny all want to help you but you have to let us help you Dougs. If you keep going behind our backs and making yourself sick again then you're not going to get any better and the blood will keep coming. Please just let us help you Dougie and the blood will never come back. I promise.' Harry soothed. I nodded and calmed down within a few minutes. Harry sat holding me tightly in his arms as I cried into his shirt.

'Harry? What time is it?'

'It's about 10 Dougs. Why?'

'A-are we allowed to go and get some food?'

'Of course Dougie. Just take it slow though yeah?' I nodded and eagerly stood up to go downstairs. I ran down them and through the lounge, into the kitchen. I flung open the fridge and pulled out all of the instant food I could see. I practically threw half the fridge down my throat in one minute. Harry, Danny and Tom came sprinting in and told me to stop but I couldn't. If I didn't eat, then I would die. I couldn't die! I had to be around for Harry! And so I continued pulling different foods out of the fridge and shoving them in my mouth. I could feel my stomach gradually filling up and getting too full but I ignored the nagging feeling. Harry pulled me away from the fridge while Danny took the food from my hands and Tom shut the fridge door.

'DOUGIE! YOUR STOMACH CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT MUCH FOOD! YOU KNOW THAT!' Harry shouted in my face.

'Harry! I'm gonna be sick!' I said suddenly in reply, clapping my hand to my mouth. Harry attempted to run me up to the bathroom but he failed, I stood still in the centre of the upstairs hallway and threw up everywhere. It was worse than usual, I didn't stop being sick for ages. Even though I knew that Harry was mad at me, he didn't act like it. He sat with me as I knelt on the floor, puking my guts out, and he rubbed my back soothingly, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. When I had finished, he picked me up from the floor and carried me downstairs in his arms. He laid me on the sofa with my head on his knee and he put on Finding Nemo on tv. After a little while of silence, I decided to speak up,'Guys. I'm sorry. I just don't want to die.'

'Dougie... You're not going to die. We'd never let that happen to you. You need to start eating again but you need to take it at a slow pace and build up the amount you eat gradually. You can't just eat 3 months worth of food in 5 minutes and expect all of the trouble to go away. We'll help you build up your meals and your strength until you're back to normal but you have to promise that you won't do anything like this again, because if anything, it will make you worse. Do you understand?' Harry replied calmly. I nodded and sat up before wrapping my arms around Harry and burying my head in his shoulder.

'I'm so sorry for all this trouble I've caused. I just wanted to be a better band mate and boyfriend. I never meant for any of this to happen.'

'It's okay Dougie. We know that you didn't. But you never had to change in the first place. You were perfect!'

'I wanted to be more than perfect. Because you're more than perfect and that's why I love you so much. I loved you even when I first met you at the auditions and you were mean to me. I knew at that moment when I tapped you on the shoulder that something special was going to happen between us. I knew for years that I loved you and then when you admitted that you felt the same way, I was so happy! And then we told Tom and Danny and they didn't mind and everything was perfect. And then you took me to the beach for valentines day and I had the best night that I had ever had in my life. But then my dad came, and he told me that I was worthless and unloveable and then when I truly thought about it, I realised that he was right. You had always been so overly perfect and you had always done so much for me. You used to take me into your room whenever there was a thunderstorm and we'd make a den out of the bed covers and chairs and you'd keep me safe and warm in there until the storm was over. And if I had a nightmare or wet the bed, you'd be the first that I'd go to because you never cared when I woke you up at three in the morning, you just wrapped your arms around me as I cried and then you'd let me sleep in your bed for the rest of the night. You cared so much for me and I never did anything in return. And then I got jealous and shouted at you, and you tried to commit. But you survived and I made a promise to myself that I would be better. I would take you out and you wouldn't have to be ashamed to stand with me. I would be the most perfect boyfriend ever. And now that dream has all just washed away, and I'm uglier than ever. And you never say it but I know that you're all angry at me. I just.. I just wanted you to know that I could be better. I just wanted to be better for you. I wanted to be the perfect boyfriend that you have always been.. because you deserve that amount of love more than I do.' I blurted out sadly. I had tears streaming down my face by the end of my little outburst and I was shaking, trying to contain loud sobs.

'Oh Dougie... I never knew... I'm so sorry you had to go through feeling all of that alone.' Harry mumbled, tightening his grip around me and pulling me into an almost bone-crushing hug. I shook my head, as it wasn't his fault at all, and I nuzzled my head further into his shoulder. After about 20 minutes, Harry carried me up into his bedroom and sat me on the bed. It was raining outside and large clouds made the sky dark.

'What are you doing Harry?' I asked curiously, as he turned chairs and other pieces of furniture in his room upside down.

'There is a predicted thunderstorm tonight. We're sleeping in a den, just like when we were younger!' he smiled at me.

'You don't have to Harry, I don't want to make a fuss.'

'It's fine. It will be fun! We can invite Tom and Danny too if you'd like.'

'Yes please. This will be the best night ever!' I couldn't help but giggle. Amongst all of the drama, we were finally going to have a proper good old sleepover, just like the early months in the band house. Me and Harry turned all of the furniture upside down and draped his bed sheets over it before getting all of the quilts from around the house and throwing them inside. I went to get Danny and Tom whilst Harry went to find the portable DVD player and our old home movies as well as a collection of Disney films.

'Danny! Tom! We're having a sleepover just like we used to whenever there was a thunderstorm. Do you want to come? We've made a really awesome den!'

'Yeah! Awesome!' Tom giggled.

'Sounds wicked little man!' Danny replied happily, chuckling a little as he answered.

'Come on then!' I said excitedly, grabbing one of each of their hands and running up the stairs with them. We ran into Harry's room and inside the den. The roof and walls were lined with pillows for extra warmth and 10 quilts were lining the floor. I giggled and jumped onto the massive pile of sheets only to be met with a muffled 'ow'. I looked around in confusion before I realised that I had jumped straight on top of Harry who was underneath one of the duvets. I giggled slightly and we all lay in comfy positions inside the little den. We watched video clips of when we were younger and when we were just messing around in the house. It was the best night I'd had in ages. It felt like nothing existed outside this little home we had created. Like outside the den, nothing else was there, no troubles or problems waiting around the corner.. just nothing. All that existed was us four, a few pillows, duvets and chairs and a portable DVD player equipped with cringey home movies. In my head, that was perfection. Nothing else in the world could bother me...If only it was that easy...


	13. Chapter 13

**Tom's POV:**

Dougie dozed off about 2 hours after we went into the little tent that he and Harry had made. We all lay just smiling for a while, happy that our little bassist was at peace. He looked so calm, like nothing could bother him. He looked truly happy for the first time in ages. After a few minutes, we carried him to his bed and lay him there, still sleeping. We all got into his bed as well that night, not wanting him to feel alone if he woke up. Danny was next to fall asleep, soon followed by Harry, and lastly me.

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**Danny's POV:**

I was woken up at about 3 in the morning by a small tugging on my t-shirt. I looked down to see Dougie pulling on my sleeve.

'What is it Pugsley?' I whispered.

'I need to be sick Danny.'

'Do you actually _need_ to be or do you just _want_ to be?'

'I need to. Honestly.'

'Okay then Dougs. Come here, quickly!' I whispered again, hurrying him up out of the bed and into the bathroom. I knelt beside him as he fell in front of the toilet, waiting to start comforting him as he vomited. But the moment never came. 'Do you still feel sick Dougie?'

'I.. erm.. I don't know. It's like I need to be sick but my body isn't letting me.'

'Oh Dougs... you just have to try and ignore the urges. Being sick so much isn't good for you.'

'But Danny.. can't I just be sick now? Please! I won't tell any of the guys and it will be the last time I'll ever do it. I just ate way too much earlier and I need to get it out.. please.. just let me do this. Just one last time.'

'I'm sorry Dougie but no. It isn't good for you.'

'But please Danny. The food makes me feel so sick and it's horrible.' he mumbled sadly, starting to cry.

'I'm sorry Dougie. Please stop crying. You know that it will help you to get better. Just please, please stop crying. Come on, lets get you back in bed and then we'll go out somewhere or write some songs tomorrow.' I said quietly, pulling him onto my knee for a tight hug. He nodded slightly and I carried him back through to his bedroom. I lay him in the bed before I hopped in next to him. He looked at me with sad eyes and I wrapped my arms around him. We lay like that for about 10 minutes before he started wriggling around uncomfortably.

'What is it Dougs?'

'I really need to be sick Dan.'

'Dougie, you don't. I told you, I know it's hard but you have to try and ignore the urges.'

'No Danny. I mean it. I _need_ to be sick. I can feel it.'

'Dougie no! I'm not letting you go. It's just your mind telling you that you need to be sick. Go to sleep now Dougs.' I sighed, turning away from him.

'Danny. Danny! _Danny!' _I heard before he suddenly sat up and was sick all over the bed. I quickly sat up next to him and rubbed his back. He burst out crying and I wrapped my arms around him. He pressed his head into my neck and I kissed his head softly.

'I'm sorry Dougie. I should have believed you.' I mumbled. He shook his head and I looked up to see Tom and Harry staring at me. After a couple more minutes, Dougie fell asleep in my arms out of pure exhaustion and so I carried him through to Harry's room and lay him in there. Harry went and lay with him to ensure that he was okay whilst me and Tom went about cleaning up his bed. Harry deserved a rest anyway, he had been nothing but caring towards Dougie and he was tired. You could physically see it. When we had finished cleaning Dougie's room, I don't know why, but the realisation of just how bad this whole thing had gotten finally hit me in one clean blow and I broke down, on my knees, in floods of tears. I don't know how long I was on the floor for but after a little while, I felt a strong pair of arms pick me up from he ground. I looked up when I felt myself being lay down and I saw Tom tucking me into my bed.

'Thank you Tom. I'm sorry... I just.. It just... I don't know. I guess it all just finally hit me.'

'It's okay. I get it. It's just sad seeing Dougie so broken. It's hard to deal with Dan.'

'I know. Me, you and Harry need to stay strong for Dougs though. It's amazing how strong Harry has been.. he hasn't let a single thing break him. I don't understand how he can't be dying inside.'

'Because he knows that Dougie can get better. He understands that this isn't something uncureable, and he also understands that he can only cure it if he supports Dougie. Otherwise Dougs will just feel more alone than ever.'

'You're right. We all need to be like that.'

'Yeah.. you're right Dan. We do. Have a nice sleep, I'll see you tomorrow.' Tom said with a small smile. Softly kissing and ruffling my hair before heading towards the door.

'Tom?'

'Yeah Dan?'

'C-can you.. can you please... erm.. could you maybe.. maybe like.. sleep in here with me tonight.'

'Sure Dan.' he replied quietly, smiling slightly at me. He climbed in beside me and wrapped his arms around me one last time before whispering 'Sweet Dreams' in my ear and allowing himself to drift off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

HEYYY! Thank you all so so much for your amazing reviews! These chapters are starting to get really rubbish so I'm thinking maybe after this chapter, I might make Dougie start getting better and wrap up the story. BUT I DON'T KNOW! NOTHING IS CERTAIN! So erm yeah.. I hope you like this! And if you have time.. it would mean a lot if you checked out my Meant To Find You story because I personally think that it is one of my best ones yet but only 3 people have reviewed :( That sounded selfish... anyway! Yeah, enjoy! :)

* * *

Harry's POV:

Luckily, when I woke up, it was 11.48. We had made it through the rest of the night without Dougie being sick again. This whole recovery process was taking its toll on him and he was both physically and mentally exhausted. I gently stroked his hair as he continued sleeping peacefully in my arms, not wanting to wake him from being so calm and happy. After about half an hour, he began to stir. He woke up within 5 minutes of beginning to move around and he looked up at me, smiling weakly.

'Hey Dougs.'

'Hiya.' he choked out. His throat sounded sore and his voice sounded weak and broken.

'Are you feeling okay today?'

'My throat's really sore. And I feel a little dizzy.'

'Well do you want to stay in bed and I'll bring your breakfast up here with the other guys in a few minutes?'

'No thanks. I'll be fine. I'd rather go downstairs to be honest. I'm getting tired of being up here all day, every day.'

'Okay then Dougs. Come with me.' I said, smiling warmly at him before taking his hand and walking him down the stairs. I sat him on the sofa, between a tired looking Tom and Danny, while I went into the kitchen to get breakfast. I got him a sausage sandwich, along with Tom, Danny and me as well. I passed Dougie his plate and he stared at it as if it was holding a knife to his neck. He was terrified. Terrified of eating incase he put on weight, but at the same time, terrified of not eating incase he went to sleep that night and never woke up. I took hold of his small trembling hand and knelt in front of him, attempting to get him to calm down a little.

'Dougie.. you know that this will help you. And we're all here with you.' I said calmly.

'I know you're here but it doesn't make any difference. I don't want to eat it and I'm not going to!' he replied moodily.

'Dougie. Don't do this. Please. Just eat half of it at least, it's good for you. It will help you build up strength.'

'FOR GODS SAKE HARRY! I DON'T NEED THE FUCKING FOOD! I'VE LASTED THREE MONTHS WITHOUT IT.. I CAN LAST LONGER! I'M NOT GOING TO EAT IT!' he screamed at me in reply, throwing the plate and the food at the wall with a loud smash.

'Dougie! Why have you done that! Don't you want to get better?'

NO! JUST LET ME GO!' he shouted again. He quickly got onto his feet and stormed out the room. We stood there, still as statues, as we heard him marching off. We didn't move until we heard a sudden collection of loud bangs and curses coming from the stairs. We ran out of the living room to see Dougie in a pile at the bottom of the staircase, crying his eyes out.

'What happened Dougs?' I asked worriedly, checking him all over for any injuries.

'I-I felt really d-dizzy and t-then my l-l-legs just sort of c-collapsed under me and I ff-ell d-down the s-stairs.'

'Are you okay? Have you hurt anywhere?'

'I.. erm.. ow! I don't think I can move my ankle. I landed on it and it's really sore. I think I twisted it.'

'Let me have a look Dougs.' I said quietly. He moved around slowly, making sure not to put any weight on his sore ankle. He stretched out his leg and rested his foot on my thigh. His ankle was twisted at an awkward angle and blood was trickling slowly down the side of it where the skin had ripped.

'I think it's broken Dougs. We're gonna have to take you to the hospital to get that cleaned up.'

'N-no. Pl-please. Not the hospital. A-anywhere but t-there.'

'Why Dougs? They will just fix your ankle and then it won't hurt anymore.'

'But Harry, it's scary in there.' he whimpered slightly.

'I know Dougie, but your ankle won't get better if you don't go.' I sighed sympathetically.

'Will you stay with me Harry? I don't want to be in there alone.'

'Of course I will Dougie. I'm never going to leave you. Come on, I'll clean the blood away and we'll take you to the doctor.' I said smiling sligtly at Dougie before lifting him up in my arms and carrying him through to the kitchen. I sat him on the edge of the table and went to get a wet cloth. I slowly dabbed the blood away, not wanting to cause Dougie anymore pain. After a few minutes, tear filled ones on Dougie's part, I was finished. I dumped the cloth into a sink full of water and picked up Dougie in my arms again. I sat him in the back of Tom's car, me and Danny on either side of him and Tom in the driver's seat. We set off on out trip to the hospital, not knowing what was still ahead of us...

'


	15. Chapter 15

**Danny's POV:**

We stayed in the hospital for around 6 hours. The doctor didn't seem to suspect anything about Dougie's weight as he put a cast over his broken ankle. We got back home at about 7.05 and none of us had eaten since that morning so we decided to have dinner. Harry, Tom and I all had chicken nuggets and chips before we made Dougie a bowl of soup. Harry carried it through to the living room, where Dougie was, and walked over to him.

'Dougie, I don't mind if you don't eat all of this but can you please try to eat half at least?' he spoke softly to the younger boy.

'But Harry... I feel sick already and I'm not hungry.'

'I know Dougie and I'm sorry but we're just trying to help you. You'll feel better if you eat it.'

'No I won't. I'll just end up being sick again. Then I'll fall asleep and I'll get another one of those horrible headaches. Then after that I'll go all dizzy again or my throat will be sore when I wake up.'

'You will feel better honestly Dougie. The bad feelings will only last for a little while and then you'll be better.'

'STOP SAYING THAT! I DON'T NEED TO GET BETTER BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! YOU'RE TRYING TO FORCE FEED ME! YOU'RE SCARING ME INTO DOING THINGS THAT I DON'T WANT TO DO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MAKES YOU?! THAT MAKES YOU JUST AS BAD AS MY FUCKING PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A FATHER!' he screamed. Harry had been near breaking point for a good few minutes now and that just blew him off completely. He threw the bowl of soup to the ground and began to walk out if the room. He stopped just before the doorway and screamed at Dougie.

'FINE THEN! SORT OUT YOUR OWN FUCKING LIFE! I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE! CONSIDER ME GONE!' he shouted before storming up the stairs. Me and Tom looked towards Dougie. He was shaking violently and staring in horror at the now empty doorway. He suddenly let out a horrible sound, somewhere between a scream and a sob and he threw himself into a little ball.

'Oh fuck! Oh shit! I've done it again! I'm a horrible person! He's doing it again isn't he? He's going to do it again! Oh god, it's all my fault! I've killed him! I've fucking killed him!' he whimpered to himself.

'Dougi-' I started before being cut off by Dougie screaming.

'DONT DO IT HARRY! PLEASE DON'T DO IT! I'LL LEAVE! I'LL LEAVE AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME ANYMORE JUST PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T TRY AND KILL YOURSELF AGAIN! I DON'T KNOW HOW I'D LIVE KNOWING THAT YOU WERE DEAD! I'M A FUCKING SELFISH TWAT I KNOW THAT! JUST IGNORE ME THOUGH! JUST IGNORE ME AND LEAVE ME TO DIE! AS LONG AS YOU'RE ALIVE, I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS!' He was dry heaving by the end of his rant and he was shaking even more violently that earlier. I rubbed his back as he continued to dry retch. After a couple of minutes, he managed to bring up something. Blood. He coughed up the red substance onto the blanket a couple of times before falling limp in my arms.

'Oh shit. HARRY! WE REALLY NEED YOUR HELP MATE!' I shouted worriedly. Harry came sprinting down the stairs and he gasped when he ran in. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy and we could tell in seconds that he had been crying. He took hold of Dougie's small, limp hand and rubbed his thumb across it slowly. He checked quickly for a pulse and let out a relieved sigh when he found one.

'I.. Ermm... I think he's just passed out again like in the bathroom. He said there was blood when he was throwing up then as well. We'll just wash the blanket so he doesn't get worried again like the other day and we'll put him up in his bedroom until he wakes up again.'

'Yeah... That's a good plan. We don't want him panicking again and trying to eat the entire contents of the fridge.'

'Thats right. And guys... I'm sorry for going off on one and leaving you with Dougie it's just that I needed a little alone time because its hard to deal with you know?'

'It's fine... We understand. To be honest, you did well to make it this long without breaking.'

'Thanks guys. I'm glad we all have each other to lean on. It helps a lot. Come on, lets get ready for the next time Dougs wakes up.' Harry replied, smiling at us. We took the blanket and put it in the wash before carrying Dougie up into his bedroom and laying him in the bed. We all wished him a quiet goodnight before departing to our own rooms to prepare for the day ahead.


	16. Chapter 16

**Harry's POV:**

When I was sure that Danny and Tom had gone to sleep, I shot out of my bed and snuck into Dougie's room. I knew that the other two wouldn't want me to because they wanted me to get some rest but I just didn't want to leave my little Dougs alone. I felt guilty about shouting at him and scaring him earlier. I didn't want him to feel alone or like he had to change himself again, I wanted him to feel safe in my arms as he woke up. I climbed into his bed beside him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He wriggled closer to me but continued sleeping peacefully. I stroked his hair softly as I slowly fell into a deep sleep beside him.

* * *

I was woken up at about half 9 the next morning by Dougie softly shaking me awake. I smiled at him and he smiled tiredly back.

'Are you okay Dougs?'

'Yeah... And Harry?'

'Yeah Dougs?'

'I'm sorry for refusing to eat and making you angry... It's just so hard and when it makes me sick my tummy hurts so much. And then I get the headaches and I just don't understand why it's so hard to eat. I promise I'll try and do better today.'

'Its okay Dougie. I'm sorry for scaring you like I did. I shouldn't have shouted. I understand that it's hard for you, but we'll try and help you get through it as much as we can. I love you more than anybody else in the world Dougie.'

'I love you too Harry. I love you more than anything. You're perfect.'

'So are you Pugsley.'

'Thank's Hazza. Are we allowed to go downstairs?'

'Of course Dougs. Come on.' I replied happily, glad that we had put our little argument behind us. I finally felt that Dougie was starting to recover, he seemed so much more full of life today and I could tell that he wanted to try and get better. We walked downstairs, hand in hand, and went to sit in the lounge. I said a happy hello to Tom and Danny who were already sat watching TV together before walking through to the kitchen. To my surprise, Dougie followed me into the room and opened up the fridge. He pulled out a carton of strawberries and a pot of yoghurt.

'What are you doing Dougs?'

'I figured that if I eat food that I like, it will make it easier to eat. And I don't have to chew yoghurt, so it's like having a drink, not like eating.' he replied, pouring the yoghurt into a bowl, cutting the strawberries into small pieces and sprinkling them on top of the yoghurt. I smiled widely at him as he grabbed a spoon and walked back through to the living room. I picked up my cup of coffee and ran in after him. Danny and Tom looked over the moon but shocked at the same time. We all stared happily at him as he got his first spoonful of breakfast in his hand.

'Do you mind if you don't watch? I know you're just trying to help its just... Well... It makes me feel a little pressured.' he asked quietly and sweetly.

'Of course. Sorry Dougs.' I replied quickly, turning away from him and focusing on the TV. Danny and Tom did the same and within 10 minutes, Dougie was tapping me on the arm.

'I finished it Harry! I finished it and I don't actually feel sick!' he squealed happily at me. I grinned at him and pulled him into a tight hug.

'Well done Dougs! I'm so proud of you!' I said in reply. I was fighting back tears of happiness as I said it and I could see Tom and Danny across the room, glowing with pride. They ran over and joined in our hug and at that moment, everything was perfect!


	17. Chapter 17

**Tom's POV:**

We all sat watching a film once Dougie had finished his breakfast and we had pulled apart from the hug. We all felt more relaxed than we had in a while, happy knowing that Dougie was finally starting to get better. I saw Dougie's face getting a little pale but I dismissed it as he hadn't said a word about feeling ill. I put it out of my mind, that was, until he suddenly threw up a small amount of yoghurty mess all down his front. He was covered in it as he looked up at Harry with tear glazed eyes, lip trembling slightly. As a few tears began to roll down his face, Harry attempted to comfort him.

'It's okay Dougie. You're okay. It's only a little bit, that means you're getting better. Your stomach is starting to be able to hold more food. You've got to keep thinking of positives. Yeah Doug?' he said supportively, taking one of Dougie's small hands in his own and kissing it gently. The younger boy sniffed and nodded before Harry stood him up from the sofa.

'Well done Dougs. Come on, we'll get you a bath and into some clean clothes.' he said quietly, putting his arm loosely around Dougie's back and helping him to walk up the stairs to the bathroom. Me and Dan followed them upstairs and as Harry and I took Dougie to the bathroom, Danny went to get him some fresh clothes. He ran in a second later with a pair of shorts and Dougie's favourite t-shirt. Harry stripped Dougie down to his boxers, avoiding the patches of vomit all over his clothes, and put a towel around him as he was shivering. Harry stopped running the bath once it was full and took the towel from Dougie's shoulders.

'Come on Dougs. Let's get your boxers off and get you in.' Harry said calmly, beckoning Dougie towards him. Dougie walked tiredly over to him before looking up at me and Danny.

'We'll go. Leave you in peace, see you in a bit.' I said, dragging Dan out the door with me.

'Do you think he'll be okay? I mean I know it was only a little bit of puke but isn't that just because he only ate a little yoghurt?' Danny asked me sadly.

'I don't know Dan, I honestly don't know. We just have to hope for the best.' I said comfortingly, putting my arm around his shoulder as we walked down the stairs. When we got to the bottom, he pulled me into a tight hug.

'I love you you know Tom, I really do! You're the greatest friend that I have ever had and you've been amazing through all of this. I'm so glad I have you!' he mumbled, breathing deeply into my chest, sounding like he was fighting back tears.

'I love you too Dan. And if you need to cry, just do it, it's the best way to get everything out. And I don't mind, you've seen me cry at 'Up' after all.' I giggled, attempting to make Dan feel a bit better. He chuckled slightly and pulled away from the hug. He looked upset but a bit better. We walked into the lounge and sat talking for a while before Harry let out a distressed scream and we heard endless banging noises coming from the bathroom.

'DANNY! TOM! HELP! HELP ME, YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME PLEASE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HIM!' Harry screamed from upstairs. We instantly stood up and sprinted to the bathroom. We ran in to see Harry sat beside the bath, shaking and sobbing, and Dougie shaking uncontrollably, slowly slipping under the bath water, which was now red with blood. We ran over and together, pulled him carefully out of the bath and lay him on the floor, covering him with a towel. He continued shaking and Harry looked over in horror. Dan went and put his hand on his shoulder.

'Harry? Harry mate I know you're scared but you have to tell us exactly what happened so we can ring an ambulance and tell them, okay?'

'H-he s-said that h-he c-couldn't b-breat-the pr-properly a-and then h-he s-started coughing l-loads a-and t-then he w-was coughing u-up blood and t-then I-I thought he-he'd j-just pa-passed out b-b-but then he s-started shaking a-and h-he's b-biting his l-lip an-and its b-bleeding m-more and I d-didn't kn-know w-what to do s-s-so I sho-shouted y-you two a-and I'm j-just s-so s-scared D-Danny. W-what if i-its g-gone too f-far? W-what i-if he d-d-dies Dan?' he cried out to Danny, almost breathlessly. He was crying more now and so I called an ambulance and when it arrived, they spent half an hour trying to get Dougie to stop fitting before lifting him up and hurrying him out to the hospital. Danny got into the back of the ambulance with him and I picked Harry up from the floor before dragging him out to the car and speeding off to the hospital to wait for more news on our perfect little bassist.


	18. Chapter 18

**Danny's POV:**

I sat in the back of the ambulance holding Dougie's tiny hand gently in my own. He was sleeping on the bed and his lip had stopped bleeding after he'd bit it whilst he was fitting. When we arrived at the hospital I was made to wait in the reception whilst they went and did tests on Dougie. I would have fought against it but I knew that I'd only end up being removed from the hospital and that wouldn't help anybody. Harry and Tom came running in about 5 minutes after me. Well I say Harry was running, when in fact, Tom was practically dragging him. He was in a terrible state, his legs had completely given up on him and he had an endless stream of tears cascading down his face. I hurried over and pulled him into a tight hug, allowing him to collapse into my arms. I looked up sadly at Tom and he gave me a sad smile.

'Come on Haz. Come and sit down.'

'N-N-No. I-I h-h-h-have t-to g-go a-an-nd s-see D-Dougie.' he choked out, letting out the occasional loud sob.

'I'm so sorry Harry, they won't let any of us in right now. You have to wait in here.'

'B-B-But w-what i-is g-g-going t-to h-happen? I-I l-love h-him. I-I-I lov-ve h-him m-more th-han a-anybody els-se i-in th-the w-world. I-I d-d-don't w-want h-him t-to d-d-die.'

'He's not going to die Harry I promise. He just needs some help from the doctors to get him better and then you to can go back to how you were before all of this. Just the perfect couple. Come on Harry, please come and sit over here with me and try to calm down.' I replied soothingly, rubbing his back as he cried into my shoulder. He nodded slightly and so instead of making him walk, I picked him up in my arms and went over to the chairs, sitting down on one with him on my knee. He sat with his arms around my neck and his face pressed into my shoulder as he sat crying his eyes out. Tom came and sat beside us, gently patting and rubbing Harry's back comfortingly. After a little while, I noticed that Harry's breathing had gone ragged. It was quick and heavy, like he was hyperventilating.

'Harry? Harry are you okay?' I asked worriedly, sitting him up straighter on my knee. His hands were shaking and a layer of sweat was forming on his head.

'I-I-I.. I c-can't b-b-breath-the.'

'Erm.. Okay.. It's okay Harry. You're going to be fine. Come on, just do this for me. Harry? Harry, look at me! You have to try and calm down. Listen to me, just take deep breaths. Come on, breathe slowly, copy me, just take big deep breaths. Try and distract yourself, think of good times yeah? Like the first time we were on stage, supporting Busted. Or when 5 Colours got to number one and we had that massive party. Just think of times like that and try to calm down.' I said trying to sound confident and comforting but completely breaking down with fear on the inside. I knew he was having a panic attack but I had never dealt with one before. The last thing we needed was for Harry to end up in a hospital bed as well. As I was calming Harry down, Tom went to get a nurse. She ran in just as Harry was beginning to breath normally again and waited until he was more calm to speak.

'Are you okay? Do you feel like you might need some oxygen?'

'M-M-Mayb-be.' he managed through deep breaths.

'Okay then sir, come with me for a moment.'

'N-N-No I-I d-d-don't w-want t-to leav-ve D-Dann-ny.' He whimpered, hugging me tighter.

'Well that's okay, I'm sure that Danny wouldn't mind coming with you, just for five minutes.' She replied sweetly.

'Of course not, come on Harry, lets go and get you better.' I said comfortingly, standing him up from my knee and taking hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. We walked slowly out of the room and I waved slightly at Tom just before we left. Hopefully we wouldn't be too long, we'd just be a few minutes and then we'd go back to Tom. I didn't really want to leave him, it wasn't really a good time for any of us to be alone, but the most important thing at that moment was to make sure that each of us were strong enough, both physically and mentally, for the challenges that were yet to come for Dougie.

* * *

**I FINALLY UPDATED! I KNOW! I've been a horrible person :/ I'm so sorry for not updating, I have just been focusing on my other Pones story because I think that it's the best one I've written yet but it hasn't really gotten that much attention... Is that because you're all Pudd fans like me? ;) Anyway, I hope you liked this, it was more of a filler and I decided to add a bit of Junes because it's the 5th of June today :) Hopefully I'll be back to updating pretty much every day from now on so be prepared for some serious reading! Thank you so much if you're still here and you haven't lost interest, it really does mean the world to me! And so do reviews.. *hinthint* :P **

**OH MY GOSH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU! AS I WRITE THIS I AM PRACTICALLY SCREAMING BECAUSE 9 DAYS AGO TOM FLETCHER RETWEETED ME AND 2 DAYS AGO IT WAS THE ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE NIGHT WHEN I WENT TO THE MEMORY LANE TOUR AND HARRY TWEETED ME AND ON TOP OFF ALL OF THAT I'M GOING TO SEE HARRY'S CHARITY CRICKET MATCH ON SUNDAY (in 3 days) AND I MIGHT GET TO MEET HIM AND I'LL DEFINITELY GET TO MEET IZZY! I'M SO HAPPY! So.. erm yeah... pretty exciting week ;) Sorry about that little outburst... I need to go calm down now so have a good day and goodbye from me :D**


	19. Chapter 19

Tom's POV:

Harry and Danny returned after about 20 minutes and although he was still crying, he had calmed down a lot. No news had come through about Dougie yet and so when they came back we all just returned to the places we were in earlier. Whenever Harry's breathing went a little shaky Danny was comforting him and helping him to breathe so that we didn't end up with two of us in the hospital beds.

'Are you okay Harry?' Danny asked again when Harry took a deep breath.

'Y-Yeah. I-I'm j-just f-finding it a-a b-bit h-hard.'

'Just deep breaths yeah? That's it, that's right Harry. You're doing really well.' he said, rubbing Harry's back as he took long, deep breaths. We had been waiting for just over 6 hours when a doctor came through the door.

'Right, Dougie hasn't started fitting again but we still don't know the cause. Can you shed some light for us please?'

'He hasn't been eating for about 3 months. He thought that he needed to lose weight to be in the band and to keep going out with Harry so he ate as little as he could and anything he did eat, he would just throw up. We only found out a few days ago but he's been getting worse and whenever we've given him food, his body hasn't been coping and he's thrown it straight back up. He's been coughing and throwing up blood as well.' I replied quickly.

'Thank you, that will help a lot!'

'P-P-Please t-tell u-us w-what-t's h-happen-ning.' Harry choked out through fresh tears.

'Well, by what you've just told us I'd guess that the fit was brought on by severe dehydration. We'll need to put Dougie on a few drips and then you should be able to see him. We'll get him weighed and on to the eating disorder treatment list as soon as he's woken up.'

'T-Thank y-you. P-Please d-don't f-forget to t-tell m-me when h-he's better.'

'We won't. I promise. See you soon boys.' The doctor replied kindly before leaving the room.

'Look Harry, Dougie's going to get better. Isn't that great!' Danny smiled at Harry. He smiled in return and it was nice to see him happy. We sat for a few more hours and after about 4 hours, Harry fell asleep on Danny's knee. Danny stroked his hair as he slept before slowly dozing off himself. I fell asleep last, happy knowing that finally, things were on the up.


	20. Chapter 20

**Harry's POV: **

I was woken up by Danny gently shaking my shoulder.

'Hey Haz, We're allowed to go and see Dougs now! He's going to be okay!' He said quietly but happily to me. I instantly shot up from the chair.

'Where!? Where is he?! I need him!'

'Come this way boys, I'll show you, prepare yourselves though because although I'm certain that he will get better, he still looks very fragile and weak. He won't be able to speak too much either. I'm going to get his treatment started tomorrow and I thought that maybe, because you're all so close to him, you three could be the ones to tell him that he needs it. It'll be better coming from people he cares about and you'll be able to convince him more easily.'

'Yeah sure. We'll tell him in a bit.' Danny replied calmly as we all walked through the hospital to Dougie's room. When we got in, he was lay on his bed with his eyes barely open, the gown he was wearing hanging off his tiny body. He smiled weakly at us and attempted to wave.

'Hey Dougs. How're you feeling?' I asked quietly, sitting down in a chair beside his bed, Tom and Danny sitting on two remaining chairs in the room.

''Kay... Arms hurt... Drips in... They hurt' He mumbled, not being able to speak much. I looked down at his arms to see that they had tons of wires sticking out of them. I took hold of Dougie's hand and squeezed it gently.

'They'll get better Butty. It only hurts because you're not used to it. And they'll make your tummy better too.' I said supportively.

'I know..'

'I love you so much baby... So so much!'

'Love.. too Hazza.. DJ.. Tom...' he muttered, eyes flickering. Danny and Tom both smiled at him lovingly.

'Are you tired Dougs?'

'Bit...'

'Well you sleep for a little while and get your strength up. We'll all stay right in here with you I promise, We'll be here when you wake up.'

'Thanks... In?'

'What do you mean in Dougs?'

'You... in.. with me? Need.. hug.. hurting..'

'Sure Dougs.. I'll get in with you..' I said climbing into the bed next to him and holding him in my arms, pulling the covers up over the both of us. He nuzzled his head into my chest and tried to wrap his arms around my waist. It hurt me to do it, but I knew I had to stop him.

'You can't put your arms around me Dougs.. I'm sorry.. The wires will come out and you need those to help you.'

'But... Hug?' He whimpered, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

'It's okay Dougs, I'm still here and I have my arms around you.. I've got you.' I comforted, wiping away his tear with my thumb.

'Okay..' He sighed. I hugged him tighter and he pressed his head further into my chest. I felt his breathing go slow and steady and so I allowed myself to go to sleep as well, happy sleeping with the fact that he was safe and that he'd finally be okay.

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**WOW! It's been so long since I updated this story! I'M SORRY! :D I now how bad I've been so if I get the time, new chapter should be up tonight. Please review? :D x**


	21. Chapter 21

**Danny's POV:**

Me and Tom sat watching Dougie and Harry sleeping peacefully for a while, happy to see them both finally happy and in love. We were drawn out of our thoughts when the doctor entered the room.

'Hey boys! Did you manage to tell Dougie?' He asked quietly.

'No not yet.. He was really tired and only managed to stay awake for about 5 minutes and we knew that Harry was shattered anyway so we just thought we'd let them get some rest.' I whispered in reply, not wanting to wake the sleeping couple.

'How long have they been asleep for?'

'Probably around an hour and a half now..'

'Do you think maybe you'd be able to wake them up? I know that they need their sleep it's just that I've managed to get an appointment for Dougie to get measured and weighed downstairs in about an hour but he'll need to prepare himself first so he doesn't panic... Is that okay?' He asked kindly.

'Yeah sure.' I said before walking slowly over to the bed.

'Haz? Dougs? Guys.. You need to wake up now.. I'm sorry.' I whispered, gently shaking them awake. They both slowly sat up, Harry still keeping Dougie tightly wrapped in his arms.

'Dougie?' Tom spoke quietly.

'Yeah..' he mumbled tiredly in reply.

'In about an hour.. You're going to have to go with the doctor again..'

'Why?'

'You have to be measured and weighed Dougs.. So the doctors can help you..' I spoke softly to him. I watched his face drop and his head bow. Harry hugged him tighter and pulled closer to him.

'But.. why?.. I'm better.' He said sadly, sounding like he was holding back tears.

'It's just to help you get even better still Dougs... Please don't be sad.. We're right here next to you.'

'B-But..' He muttered before bursting into tears. Harry kissed his face softly, wiping away Dougie's tears.

'Please don't cry Dougie. We'll help you through it.. Come on, cheer up.. It'll be over in no time.'

'Okay.. Have.. Be strong..'

'That's the spirit Dougs!' Harry said cheerily and we all smiled supportively at Dougie. We sat around just talking for another 45 minutes before the doctor returned.

'Hey boys! Are you ready Dougie?'

'Yeah..' He replied nervously.

'Am I allowed to go with him?' Harry asked quickly, grabbing hold of Dougie's small hand.

'Yeah sure.. Come on.. Let's get you in this wheelchair..' The doctor said happily and so me and Harry helped Dougie walk over to the chair and sat him in it. Me and Tom watched on as Harry wheeled Dougie out of the room, a huge grin evident on his face.


	22. Chapter 22

**Harry's POV:**

When we got to the bottom floor of the hospital, we went into a huge room that was full of scales and measuring devices. The doctor spun round and knelt in front of Dougie, speaking softly to him.

'Dougie? I know this will be hard for you but I'm going to need you to get out of your gown so I can get you weighed accurately... Is that okay?'

'W-Why.. No.. Keep it on?'

'These scales are very sensitive and they will pick up the extra weight of the gown.. You'll only have to be out of it for 5 minutes.'

'O-Okay..' Dougie sighed. He stuck his arms up as high as he could and I gently removed his gown from his body, revealing his scarily thin waist. I helped him to stand up and walk across the room to the scales.

'Do you want to get on backwards Dougie?'

'Wh-Why?'

'So that you don't have to see your weight.. Seeing it might make you feel fat, and that's the last thing we want. It's up to you?'

'O-Okay.. Backwards..' He mumbled. I carefully spun him around and managed to get him stood up on his own on the scales. Just as the doctor wrote down the result, Dougie called out for me.

'Harry!.. Harry!.. Tired... Legs!' He said worriedly before his legs collapsed under him, I managed to catch him just before he hit the ground and he rested his head against my chest. I hurried him back into his wheelchair and knelt down in front of him.

'Are you okay Dougs?'

'Tired.. Can't... Rest?' He mumbled, a few tears rolling down his face.

'Sure Dougs.. You rest for a couple of minutes. That is okay right?' I asked turning to the doctor. He smiled at me and walked over.

'Yes that's absolutely fine! You did really well then Dougie, we'll start again in a minute and measure your waist, thighs and arms and then after that you're done. Is that okay?' He asked kindly.

'Yeah..' Dougie replied weakly. I leant over and gently kissed his lips as he began dozing off in the chair.

'Try and stay awake beautiful, you'll be able to sleep soon.' I whispered into his ear.

'Finish now?..' He muttered in reply.

'Yeah, come on Dougs. Stand up and the doctor will measure your waist and then we can go back upstairs.' I said, helping him up from the chair slowly. The doctor walked over and quickly measured how many inches Dougie's waist, biceps and thighs were before letting me put him back into the chair.

'Well done Dougie, that was really good. You can both go back to your room now and we'll see you again tomorrow. Thank you boys.' He said cheerily, holding the door open for us.

'Thank you doctor!' I called back, pushing Dougie out of the room. When we got back to Dougie's room, a nurse quickly attached all of the drips to Dougie's arms again before leaving us in peace.

'Are you okay Dougs?' I asked him quietly once he was settled in bed.

'Yeah... Arms..'

'Are they a bit sore Dougs?'

'Yeah... Really...Hurt..'

'Aww... They'll get better soon baby I promise.' I replied softly, gently kissing hiss head before he fell asleep in my arms, breathing lightly against my chest.


	23. Chapter 23

**Danny's POV:**

We all woke up the next morning after the best sleep we'd had in a while. We all sat talking for about half an hour before the doctor came in again and smiled widely at us all.

'Hey boys!' he said happily.

'Hiya.'

'How are you this morning?'

'Yeah, we're great thanks!' Danny replied cheerily.

'How about you Dougie? Are you feeling a bit stronger?'

'Yeah thanks. Loads better.' Dougie replied with a small smile, having gained the strength to form, near enough, proper sentences.

'Well that's great! Now I don't want to scare you, but it's about time for breakfast and we were hoping maybe that we could get you to eat some to get your treatment started.'

'I'm not scared. I know I need this. I have to be strong.' Dougie replied, face set and determined.

'Well done Dougs, you're beautiful you know!' Harry said quickly, kissing Dougie gently on the cheek.

'I'll get the nurse to bring you all through some breakfast then. What would you all like?'

'Please can I have toast?' Dougie asked sweetly.

'Same please.' I replied happily.

'Yeah me too please!' Harry said quickly after me.

'Me.. erm.. four please?' Tom finally responded, smiling up at the doctor.

'Of course! I'll get them to bring that in a minute. I'll see you later boys.' The doctor said before he strolled out of the room with a happy look on his face.

'I'm so proud of you Dougs, I love you so much.' Harry grinned at his younger boyfriend, cupping Dougie's face gently and pulling him in for a kiss. Dougie leaned into the kiss and when they pulled away, they both had huge smiles across their faces and Dougie's cheeks were flushed pink.

'You two are literally the cutest couple ever!' I said happily to them as Harry climbed into the small bed next to Dougie, wrapping his arms around the younger boy.

'Yeah, you're so perfect for each other! Aw you're adorable!' Tom cooed beside me.

'Thanks guys but honestly, you two are starting to sound gay now as well.' Dougie giggled. The rest of us burst out laughing with him and within seconds we were all crying with laughter. We were cut off from their laughing fit by two nurses walking in both carrying trays.

'It's good to see you all so happy boys. We've got your breakfast here for you. We've got to take your drips out first though Dougie.' One of the nurses said happily to us, walking over to Dougie's bed. They quickly removed the wires from Dougie's arms and placed them on a trolley before giving us each a plate with two pieces of toast on. They left quite soon after they had given us the toast and we sat talking.

'Are you ready Dougs?' Harry asked quietly, taking hold of Dougie's small hand and squeezing it tightly.

'Yeah. I can do this, I just need to be strong and take it slow.' he replied confidently. He picked up his first piece of toast and took a huge bite from it, chewing it thoroughly before swallowing it and doing the same again. He managed to finish both pieces within ten minutes and after that, he didn't complain about feeling ill even once. We sat around for the rest of the morning just messing around and talking. Dougie did ask us just to take it easy sometimes and he got hot and really tired at some points but he managed to keep the food down and after the first three hours had passed, he was absolutely fine. At around 2pm, we got our lunch brought in and Dougie managed to eat just over three quarters of it before pushing the plate away and asking to sleep for a little while. We accepted and he softly fell asleep in the arms of Harry. The time passed and soon enough, it was 8pm. We all watched Dougie, huge smiles evident on our faces, knowing that our little sandy-haired bassist was happy again, once more.

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**If you think that this is the end, you think correctly. There should be one more chapter that is set a few months after this and then that's it! I have absolutely loved writing this and seeing the reviews has made me so happy! Thank you all so much! I was thinking of writing a sequel where Dougie has a relapse or possibly turns to self-harm instead of bulimia/anorexia. I'd love to have ideas on any storylines you'd like to see in the sequel and yeah.. just thank you so much x**


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